Thoughts on repairing the past

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For years and years I have reflected on my school years and the aspects of cruelty and the morale hiatus that seemed to exist during those years.

I have tried to explain to others that the “Lord of the flies”, was a picnic compared to life as it was for me for my school years from aged 9 through to 16.

I have at times thought that someone should have been more responsible and not allowed things to happen.

At times I think how could this happen.

  1. There was the archaic school doctrine and rules to abide by or you were caned.
  2. There was a bullying and full fagging system that was self governing by “seniority”
  3. Staff that were sometimes sadists, some paedophiles that had another set of rules . They were in a position of trust and care.

All of us children were from broken homes from tragedy, divorce or otherwise.

So many people to blame.

Some of the kids from that age have been so messed up. Some have suicided, some have had tortured lives trying to grow up.

How does one heal from this.  The only way to heal is to not let this happen again to break the cycle . Stop and heal for the future . The damage from the past can’t be undone.

By healing the future though there is hope.



2 Replies to “Thoughts on repairing the past”

  1. Such a sad individual I am to make a comment on my own post. Recently I was frozen to the spot when I read an horrific article by a victim that was in the military and had been abused by their own father. I had always thought that the predatory paedophiles gathered in numbers in institutions and can be well protected by the wall of shame as the silence protection racket proves. This article grabbed me to the core . Enough is enough this is not an institution this is a father . This is family abuse. It is us that allow the protection of our fear of confronting this issue. But the victim is confronted by the affects of the abuse on a daily basis.

    I was reading a book by James Baldwin and he was meeting a high profile person …this chap was drunk and when the greeted . This drunk reached and groped James.

    A few paragrphs later …James writes …How sad this is that this person has to narcoticise themselves to such a degree and when they attempt human touch is in an unloved manner and unloved way…

    I think the gist of this was this abuser in power was pathetic.

    I remember a telling moment in Last Exit to Brooklyn the horrific moment when this chap is caught in his full abusive paedophile active state.

    Both moments of writing I think are based on real events. I know because I have seen that face of nothing ness that emptiness that no loved look of despair.

    It’s not only the victim that needs healing it is the abuser.

    Both need to break the cycle. Both need love.

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