Life’s like that

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What is my humour style ..I think I use humour to break the ice in all parts of my life.
Life’s like that was a filler in the Readers Digest Magazine. I use to read this and Laughter is the best medicine.

From a young age I honed my skills to try and deliver one liners that were real. Like from the magazine and being real more valid.
For example at a TM workshop the other day.

So this guy entered a competition and his feedback he was told he was too Agricultural
Don’t let that happen again. Next time you tell them you are multicultural.

I absolutely love puns that are sometimes referred to as Dad Jokes.

This is a gold mine ..Last night I dreamt that the ocean was all Orange. Only to wake the next day to realise it was only a Fanta Sea.

Or I think I made this one up …What’s a red dinosaur called ? A TomatoSaurus.
I’ve been training my sons Leon 10 and Louis 8. I want them appreciate puns.

Louis came to me the other day with a terrible mirror joke. I told him he needs to reflect on his puns,

A favourite of ours has been Naan Bread yes we have none, can I have one please …no there are None, Naan?
Yes None.
Sometimes my humour is about releasing tension
I remember meeting the new CEO . She came to visit me for a one on one and introduction and I stood and shook hands. When I sat down I let go an accidental rather loud fart.

We looked at each other for what seemed like a long pause. Nothing was ever said on the matter and we carried on.

It can be nerve racking meeting someone for the first time. I met a client years ago multi millionaire Mr Wu. I was going to convince him to spend 23 K for a re do job that he’d already spent 5k on. I arrived on time and had a suit and tie and a new design spec folder at the ready.

As we shook hands he did my undone fly up with his other hand. A real long pause filled with intuition and glanced nuances …once again nothing said on the matter . Just moved on. I did sell the job to him.

Sexual tension a huge area for humour and life is like ?
Or one time my eldest brother was trying to show off in Kings Cross in Sydney. “That’ll be 100 bucks mate….and you can bring your sister too.”

“Hey I’m a boy!”

Sometimes in life I say why me? Or did that really just happen. …. I was doing a public sales push in Queenstown with a display stand in the mall. During the lunch hour a young teenage boy approached me and asked me ..

“Do you know any one that wants to buy a boy?” —- What!!! Why does he pick me.

Later towards the end of the day …he approaches me again “Want to buy a boy” OMG

Why me what did I project to warrant this line of enquiry.

Sad really.. He’d come ton Qtown to party and needed money for the trip home.

I remember doing a gig at The Restart Mall in a lunch hour . Half way through the set I saw Winston Peters walking with a group of suits. “I’d like to dedicate this next song to Winston Peters” – I looked at the set list – Venus was the next song. He stopped and listened and we had great eye contact as I sung I’m your Venus, I’m your Venus – Joy desire.
At the end he gave a hearty applause.

I can safely say I have had the worst job ever.

Or a most interesting sales one. A friend of mine ran a funeral business . He was the first in NZ to bring in cardboard coffins..

Any way he got me all dolled up in a suit and tie and sent me to the heart of Mt Albert …door knocking . The product was pre paid funerals ….Pay now die later .. It was a predominantly older populous in this suburb . The Interest was really high.

But yes the worst job was measuring Deer Pizzles – Deer penises with the scrotal sack intact.
I had to clean them up and pack them in boxes.
The size range was from approximately 16 inches to 34 inches.
My nickname was “hands”

April Fools eve 1978 – Don’t get caught ..
Chopping down the flagpole at school on April Fools night. At 3 in the morning we took down the school flagpole and replaced it with just the base that looked like it had been chopped with an axe. But carrying the real pole down to the local Police Station . The place was locked . There was a phone that rung through to Central. “Hello – yeah we’ve got this flag pole we want to leave here at the station”

The answer came back “Yep – sure- Just slide in under the driveway to the left – She’ll be right mate”

So yes life’s like that ,life is full of humour and I think it is my style to actively promote humour.
One day

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